Well, before weigh in this week, my short term goals would have been to finally be UNDER 300lbs by New Years. My weight was 309.4lbs, so I only needed to lose 10.4lbs by December 31, 2011. This would have been the first time I was under 300lbs since before 2003, because that had been the first time I had weighed myself probably since junior high when you were required to weigh in. So who knows really when I hit that 300 mark, but all I know is it was a long time ago, so this was going to be a HUGE acheivement for me!
So because my goal was to lose 10.4lbs in 5 weeks, we are talking a little over 2lbs each week. To get there, it would require some discipline on my part. Now don't get me wrong, on a normal weekly basis since joining WW, I am losing about 2.5lbs on average each week, so this was a very reachable goal. But because it was sooooo important, I wanted to make sure I actually did it. What did this mean? Tracking, every day, watching my food intake a little closer, and portion size a little more than usual. This also meant more gym time. I normally work out 5-6 a week, max 30 minutes each time cardio. MAX 30 minutes. Why? Because I know myself, if I do more, I will either get burned out, or get to the point of not liking it, and then make excuses of not wanting to go. And then falling off plan. This is me, I know myself. But I had a goal, and I wanted to meet it.
So I started going to the gym with a friend and also fellow WW goer. She has lost a ton more weight than I have, and also started at a smaller size than I did, so she is, to me, completely fit. She will disagree, but I think if I had her current body, that would be my "happy" place. She kicked my butt in the gym. Literally. Icy Hot and I got really close this past week. Tylenol...check! My body hurt so much from how hard I was working out that I debated and debated over and over on when I actually needed to go pee, because that involved me getting up and then sitting back down. (PS...I wish I was a dude, would have been much easier). So you get the point, I worked out hard.
We get to the WW meeting on Tuesday night (thinking and hoping to lose in the 3lb range), and weigh in, we have a tradition of not opening until after both have been weighed, and so I open, gasp because I see 2.8lbs (I thought close enough)....and then see the worst sign I have ever seen in my life. The + sign. What?!?!?!? How could I gain. I worked my A** off. I worked SOOOO hard and I gained? Seriously?!?!?! I was devastated. I just cried. My friend tried her best to comfort me. I tried my best during the meeting not to continue to cry, but I was so mad. I was angry. I tried to look away when our leader would talk and I was crying. I tried to be the first out of the meeting, but the leader ran after me, asking if I was ok, and if I needed to talk, I was to upset. My friend came over that night and measured me, saying that I probably gained muscle, but lost inches. I did, since last month I lost 7 3/4 inches. I was still so mad, angry, disappointed. Every horrible feeling you could feel. I have gained once before but I expected it, I knew I did bad, but this time I did everything right, that was what was so hurtful.
So now my goal is to lose the 2.8lbs that I gained, and try my hardest to lose the 10.4lbs, but if I don't, then I continue on until I reach it. I was given a few quotes to help me through this.
A setback is just an opportunity for a comeback!
AND
You win some, you lose some, but I will be **** if I let this get me down. This is nothing but motivation!
So wish me luck, last night I took it easy at the gym, tonight I have kickboxing, and then the rest of the week/weekend take it easy, but still work out and still eat right.
Here I go!!!
So because my goal was to lose 10.4lbs in 5 weeks, we are talking a little over 2lbs each week. To get there, it would require some discipline on my part. Now don't get me wrong, on a normal weekly basis since joining WW, I am losing about 2.5lbs on average each week, so this was a very reachable goal. But because it was sooooo important, I wanted to make sure I actually did it. What did this mean? Tracking, every day, watching my food intake a little closer, and portion size a little more than usual. This also meant more gym time. I normally work out 5-6 a week, max 30 minutes each time cardio. MAX 30 minutes. Why? Because I know myself, if I do more, I will either get burned out, or get to the point of not liking it, and then make excuses of not wanting to go. And then falling off plan. This is me, I know myself. But I had a goal, and I wanted to meet it.
So I started going to the gym with a friend and also fellow WW goer. She has lost a ton more weight than I have, and also started at a smaller size than I did, so she is, to me, completely fit. She will disagree, but I think if I had her current body, that would be my "happy" place. She kicked my butt in the gym. Literally. Icy Hot and I got really close this past week. Tylenol...check! My body hurt so much from how hard I was working out that I debated and debated over and over on when I actually needed to go pee, because that involved me getting up and then sitting back down. (PS...I wish I was a dude, would have been much easier). So you get the point, I worked out hard.
We get to the WW meeting on Tuesday night (thinking and hoping to lose in the 3lb range), and weigh in, we have a tradition of not opening until after both have been weighed, and so I open, gasp because I see 2.8lbs (I thought close enough)....and then see the worst sign I have ever seen in my life. The + sign. What?!?!?!? How could I gain. I worked my A** off. I worked SOOOO hard and I gained? Seriously?!?!?! I was devastated. I just cried. My friend tried her best to comfort me. I tried my best during the meeting not to continue to cry, but I was so mad. I was angry. I tried to look away when our leader would talk and I was crying. I tried to be the first out of the meeting, but the leader ran after me, asking if I was ok, and if I needed to talk, I was to upset. My friend came over that night and measured me, saying that I probably gained muscle, but lost inches. I did, since last month I lost 7 3/4 inches. I was still so mad, angry, disappointed. Every horrible feeling you could feel. I have gained once before but I expected it, I knew I did bad, but this time I did everything right, that was what was so hurtful.
So now my goal is to lose the 2.8lbs that I gained, and try my hardest to lose the 10.4lbs, but if I don't, then I continue on until I reach it. I was given a few quotes to help me through this.
A setback is just an opportunity for a comeback!
AND
You win some, you lose some, but I will be **** if I let this get me down. This is nothing but motivation!
So wish me luck, last night I took it easy at the gym, tonight I have kickboxing, and then the rest of the week/weekend take it easy, but still work out and still eat right.
Here I go!!!
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