DAY 30- Who are you?

Hmmm...great question....this is really hard because I am not one particular person, but rather a person that is made up of a lot of different things.  I also know I haven't found all of myself, and I am hoping that as I lose more and more weight I will be able to do that.  I don't want to be identified as the big girl anymore because it seems like all my life that is all I have been identified as.  I also don't want to be identified as the "single" girl.  I am tired of being jerked around by guys.  I am not stupid, nor do I claim to be the smartest person in the world, but I just wish I could find someone who can be my equal, not try to compete to be better than me, or point out any flaws.  So I have a funny story to tell you about how my confidence is rising and rising lately due to my weight loss...Well kinda funny because it didn't really end up where I wanted it to but here it goes:

So, I only work every third Saturday at work right?  Well one Saturday I was at work, and our drive thru is the only thing open on Saturday's so it's not to bad, considering I also have two tellers there to help me and it only turns out to be a four hour shift so not bad at all.  So because our drive thru is the only thing open, often people still come to the door and pull on it even though there is a huge sign saying we are closed only open in our drive thru, they still do and it's incredible how many people do it.  Anyways on with my story, so this really nice looking guy comes up pulls on the doors, and I look and was like DAYYYYYYYUUUUUMMMMMMM...I yelled at my security guard to let him in because he was just that hot, but he was like are you serious and I was like no cause I don't want to lose my job or get robbed so...lol.  I watched as he got in his vehicle and pulled around to the drive thru.

Now, because I have two tellers that work with me I normally don't open a drawer on Saturdays because there is just no need, there is so much other work that needs to get done that I focus on that, but I was definitely about the make an exception for this guy.  So he sends the tube in and I greeted him and said Good Morning, my name is Brittany and I will be helping you today, I will have your transaction right out for you.  He was a non-member, that was cashing a check that a member had written him and he had sent in his military ID with it.  I noticed on his military ID that it was about the expire in a few days.  So I went to go send his money out and normally we charge a $3.00 fee for someone to cash a check with us that they aren't a member with us, but I waived it because of course he was dayummm hot!  Before I put the money envelope back in the tube to send it, one of my tellers grabbed it out of my hands, wrote down my number and name and sent it out before I had the opportunity to stop her. 

I was mortified.  I called out over the intercom and said Hi Mr. Henderson this is Brittany, I just wanted to let you know that normally we would charge a $3.00 fee to cash a non member's check, but I went ahead and made an exception for this today, but I also noticed that your ID is about to expire so you might want to get that taken care of.  He laughed and drove off didn't even read the envelope.

So later that day after work, I went to get my oil changed and my car washed and while I was there, I got a text message from a number I didn't know, and it said is this Brittany.  I was like yeah, and he was like did you leave your name and number on a money envelope today...lol And I was like oh yes I did, this must be Mr. Henderson lol.  He said it is, so I am taking it that you are interested and I said yes very much so.  And he asked for a picture because he didn't see who I was, so I sent him a picture, and asked if he was interested and he said yes definitely...lol.

Never before would I have had enough courage to even talk to him, let alone allow my teller to send out my number, my first thought was that I would get fried if his wife found it lol.  So we started talking and we really had a lot in common.  He just got transfered with the military from Colorado and his favorite football team is the Broncos.  Yes...I had found the ONE.  Well we talked and made plans to get together to watch the Broncos/Patriots game that was this past Saturday, however, he stopped texting me on Friday and I still haven't heard form him since.  Oh well, but I am just proud that I had enough courage to talk to him...lol

Well I had a big gain of 3.8lbs this past week, so I have been trying to watch myself a lot more and working out more steadily.  Let's hope for a good weigh in tomorrow!

Until Next time....

Day 29- In the past month what have you learned?

I have learned that I am a stronger person than I thought.  I have learned that no matter what, I can always depend on myself.  I have also learned that nothing in life is easy, if it were, life would be called a slut...lol.  I know I am going to be ok, even after experiencing what I have experienced this past month, if I can get through this, I can get through anything. 

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now. Have you changed since then?

First picture is one year ago, on my way back from a business trip to
Denver with three other colleagues.  The second is from yesterday.  I have changed so much since then.  The day of the first picture was THE worst day I had in 2011.  I had come home and had some unexpected health problems.  I don't know what happened, but I was having these major shooting pains in my leg, I couldn't sleep that night and went to the doctor the next day, and he sent me for an ultrasound and then to the emergency room.  For weeks I was in complete pain and went through x rays, two MRI's, physical therapy, multiple chiropractor visits, and tons of doctor bills that my insurance didn't cover.  My leg is still partially numb from nerve damage that they can't figure out how to fix and/or what caused it.  I am barely starting to re-train myself how to walk/do things properly again.  I still can't walk in heels.  It sucked so much.  So I am hoping for a healthy new year.  That and losing weight is going to help a ton!

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

I had just joined WW online and a friend of mine from the WW meetings told me about this challenge.  I thought it would be a way for everyone to get to know me more and also for me to have something interesting to blog about because I don't want all my posts to be the same.  I hope at the very least I give you something to laugh at. 

On a side note, today is the first day of 2012, which I am very excited for.  So long 2011, I wish you well, but I gotta be going!  Onward and upward to new and exciting things and promises.  I wish to be happy, healthy, and also lose more weight!  This is my year, and I am not letting anything or anybody get in my way. 

Day 26-What you think about your friends

I think all my friends are completely awesome! Because I am an only child, I consider most to be family and like my sisters/brothers. Without them I would sometimes lose my sanity. They say to have one true friend is better than having 10 fake friends and it's the truth. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have, I treasure and really cherrish.

I am not sure what else to write about my friends because I can't continue to say the same things over and over, lol.                        

Day 25-What I would find in your purse

Ahhh geeze. Well let me start of by saying that most people would not consider what I carry to be a "purse". Instead, they would call it luggage. I have everything you could ever imagine in my purse. When they say everything besides the bathroom sink, that's what they refer to as my purse. I have gotten better over the years, I no longer carry paper towels and toilet paper. So this is what I have:

Sunglasses
Hand Sanitizer-4 different kinds (due to my OCD)
A casino play card
A lighter
I-Pod
Checkbook
Wallet
WW Book
WW calculator
Ziplock with the following:
Contact solution
Hand sanitizer
Wrinkle Guard
Lotion
Hair Spray
Lip Balm
Cuticle Cream
Nail File
Febreeze
Pens-Various amount
Business Cards
Business Card Holder
I-Pod cord
I-pod Charger connector
Camera
Batteries
Cell Phone
Cigarrettes/Lighter
Gum
Mints
Mirror
Notepad
WW weeklies and trackers
Shotglass

That's off the top of my head, but that's the jist of it.                        

Day 24-A letter to your parents

I have always only considered my mother to be my only parent because of a divorce etc, so I will write the letter to her.

Dear Mom,

I don't know how many times and ways I can say thank you without it getting old and/or lame, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart that I am so grateful and thankful to have you as my mother and have you in my life. You are my best friend. You are what I live for every day. I wouldn't be the person I am today without you, and your love. Yes there were mistakes that were made, but I think you did a pretty good job raising me with what resources you had available and what you could do. Sometimes its not always about the money or material items, but the knowledge, love and unconditional support you provided to me on a daily basis and still continue to do so.

I remember growing up feeling like you and I were a team. We were all that we had and all that we needed. It was us against the world. Although you wern't the best nurse when I was sick, lol, you could always throw a mean hot bowl of green beans when I messed up, lmao. Yes, I am going to continue to bring that up, for the rest of my life.

I want you to know that nothing you do goes un-noticed and everything you do is appreciated. Sometimes, just having you around to be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on is all I need. I know that you feel like it's always your job to fix the situation, sometimes all I need is you to say I understand and that sucks. I just want you to be a friend in those situations instead of my super-hero mom who always comes to the rescue. Sometimes I just need to fall flat on my face to learn my lessons, and maybe that will take a few times of falling flat on my face to do, but I need that. I can't depend on you to fix everything. Remember when I hated calling people? I would do everything in my power for you to call or for you to find out information and you have since broken me of that. I need you to break me of always depending on you, even though I know that's what you are there for and want to be there for.

Again thank you for everything that you have done for me and continue to do for me on a daily basis. Even just your love is enough at times! I am glad that I know that I have someone to fall back on like you. That I have you as my support and vice versa.

Love,
Brittany                       

Day 23-Something you crave a lot

I have never been a "sweets" person. I can go without icecream, sweet bread, candy, chocolate, etc. I am more of a savory eater. I like steak. I love potatoes. I want rolls with butter on them. I crave buffalo chicken wings with ranch and french fries all the time! In fact, I already knew I had screwed up for Christmas day and the day after, so I went and got some wings Monday night and OMG they were sooooo good. I didn't worry about counting them, or not having the fries and having veggies instead. Nope, I wanted my wings. And I had them, and now my craving is gone. Most of the time I only crave things that people talk about or eat. If I see someone with some Whataburger for lunch, I want it. If someone starts talking about pickles, I need one.

For the most part if I have the opportunity to have something I shouldn't, if I just take a bite of it and then give it away or throw it away I am ok. But sometimes I just want to eat the whole thing. That's what happened at Christmas with the rolls. I took a bite of my mom's roll, I was good until I saw her butter it, and everyone else including her eating one. I wanted one so bad, so not only did I have one, I had three. With butter. It was horrible.

I am trying to jump back on the horse, and I will do better this week. That's all I can say.                       

Day 22-What makes me different from everyone else?

No one will ever look like me, think like me, speak like me, act like me, etc because I am unique. One of a kind. God broke the mold when he made me (some people might be happy about that, lol). I am strong, independent, sophisticated, ghetto at times, funny, loud, likes to be the center of attention, caring, smart, dedicated, loving, annoying, hard worker, sensitive, and a million other words that could describe me.

I have OCD...no one will ever in their lives think it's important that I set the cup/glass down before I take a drink out of it. I can not take a drink unless I do that. No one will ever think it's important to wash your hands anytime you touch something in the bathroom, for instance walk in, touch the light switch, wash the hands, go to the restroom, wash the hands, take my contacts out, wash the hands, take my medicine, wash the hands. This is only when I am in my OWN bathroom, not when I am in public or someone elses, and I probably have the cleanest bathroom around. I hate shaking people's hands. I try my hardest not to, but sometimes in certain business situations its nescessary and I am silently screaming in my head for it to end quickly and not be too gross. I sometimes hate putting certain lotions on my hands because it feels "heavy", and then makes me want to wash my hands, therefore defeating the purpose of putting the lotion on in the first place. I have to wear Vick's Vapor rub to bed on my lips, and I have to apply it evenly and smoothly and will sit and make sure I get it right no matter how tired, etc I am. Once when I had hurt my leg and my mom was taking care of me, I thought she was going to hit me with the jar of Vick's because she was like just put it on and be done with it, go to bed already lol.

I think of music as emotions. Certains songs remind me of certain situations or people that I have encountered in my life. I could be having the best day in the world and a song come on and I just break down crying, or be in the worst mood and then hear a song and instantly bave a personality change. I think of colors as hot and cold. Red, black, blue, purple are hot, yellow, orange, pink, peach are cold. I have to touch things to truly understand what it is. If you ever go shopping with me, you will understand why I walk through the store touching everything, because I need to know the feeling, the textures. If someone is asking me a question about something, I have to touch it, to explain something about it.

I don't have any animals, but I cry when I know an animal is in need. There was a cat that was roaming around my apartment and I stayed outside trying to feed it and give it water for four hours one night because I was worried it would get hungry. Last weekend a dog was running across the road in my mom's neighborhood and a car ran it over, and I thought I was going to puke and die all at the same time. It was fine, got up and ran away, but all I could think about all weekend is worrying if it had internal injuries and wondering if it was ok.

I know this sounds horrible, but I don't have any pitty for homeless people that sit on the corner of the streets begging for money. I have never and will never give them my money. I work hard for my money, and donate to a lot of charities and refuse to give someone a handout that won't help themselves. I have been in some trying times, as well as have my family/friends, and somehow we are always able to find a way to make money or find a job. You do what you have to do, and begging other people for money is not the way to do it. If you give a man a fish he will eat for the day, if you teach him to fish, he will eat for a lifetime. I am not above helping people, I give a lot of money and of myself to helping people, but I help people who help themselves.

Anyways, this is me and what makes me different from everyone else, among a ton of other things!                        

Day 21-A Picture of Something that Makes Me Happy

My bed always makes me happy!

Day 20-Someone you see yourself being happy with in the future

I know I am copying my friend Chante in saying this but it's the truth, myself. Everyone always asks me how much weight in total I want to lose, or what is my goal weight and I don't know the answer to that. In fact, I don't know when that will happen or what weight I am going to be at when it does happen, because it's just a kind of see and tell thing. I want to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with my body. I want to be able to not have to lie about my weight on my drivers liscence. I want to be able to go to amusement parks and not worry if I am going to fit, or if I am going to need a seatbelt extender on an airplane or for that matter if the person next to me is going to complain because they have to sit next to a fat person on the plane. I just want to be happy with me!!! And that will happen, because I am determined!                       

Day 19-Nicknames you have and why

I have a few nicknames from when I was a child and even to recent times, so here we go:

Britt-My family has ALWAYS called me this. I don't really mind when they do, I do mind however when someone I don't know very well, or don't care for calls me Britt. When people say something to the effect of "Hey Britt...." I will respond with "ANY"...and they get the point. Mainly people at work that I am not close with I say this to or strangers, but I don't mind if family or really close friends call me Britt.

PorkChop-When I was about 5, my mom's best friend(whom I call my aunt, but they aren't blood related) had us over for dinner at her house. She and my mom ran to the store real quick to buy something, and her son Jerry stayed home to watch me. Jerry was like 18 at the time and he was hungry and saw that my aunt had taken out a package of pork chops for dinner and decided to fire up the grill and cook them. After they were all cooked, again he was hungry, so he decided to eat. He asked if I wanted one and of course, who is going to pass up a pork chop right? Well when my aunt and mom came home, all the pork chops were gone and my face was full of bbq sauce. Mind you, it was one of the big family size packages of pork chops, so there was a ton of them. And they were all gone. My aunt asked what happened, and he blamed it on me, that I ate all of them. So since then, my nick name was pork chop, always has been and always will be.

Princess Britnah-A friend from college created this one for me out of Brittany, and it has always just stuck

BDC(pronouned as Baa Dee Cee)-my initials, just pronounced out. In Colorado, we had a log that we always had to put our initials on when we logged that we were going to be helping a member, so I would always be like put BDC on there please, and then one of the other employees just started calling me that, and it caught on. My I-Pod is engraved with that, I have a front liscence place that reads that, I just like it.

Brattany-Brittany being a Bratt

 Bitch -normal every day nickname

Britney S. Pearce-for anyone that watches Glee will understand why this one, but whenever I have to go somewhere and don't want to give my real name I use that one.                        

Day 18-Plans/Dreams/Goal You Have

Plans-to lose weight, to have a good holiday season no matter what, to spend time with family, friends and loved ones. To go to the gym afterwork today, lol. Long Term would probably more classified as dreams/goals. I would like to eventually buy a house, get married, either switch careers, move, or move up in my current position, because I am definiately not happy where I am at because I have been in the same position for 3 1/2 years, and I hate my job since moving to El Paso. And only I have the control to change that. I would eventually like to consider the thought of having children, now I didn't say have children, but consider the thought of them. I have never been to keen on the idea of kids, but I always said that as I got older my decision might change, so I would definitely like to take it into great consideration, of course with the right partner. I would love to go to culinary school one day maybe. That was always a dream of mine when I was growing up, but then I joined the real world of working and it didn't so much work out. Maybe I could be one of those chefs that cooks for people who are trying to lose weight because I would have lost all that weight and know what they are going through, lol. I have a friend that is in WW too that is really good in the gym, and she said the same thing about being a personal trainer lol. I have a bucket list, and on the bottom of my bucket list is to finish the list and create a new one once complete, and I want to do that some day.

Quote of the day:

When setting your goals, reach for the moon, even if you fall short, you will still be among the stars!                       

Day 17-Someone you would want to switch lives with for a day and why

Hmmm...great question and topic. I have always wondered what it would like to be a man, but that it to general for me. I guess I would want to switch lives with the President. Why, not becasue I like our current president (I know touchy topic), but I would want to get a lot accomplished, hold a press conference and tell everyone what I really feel (like all the other countries) and say peace out I am done!

I would also want to switch lives with someone rich and see what that was like, see what their lives are like. I know that just because they are rich doesn't mean that they don't have problems to, but like they say, money doesn't buy happiness, but I sure would like to try.

Overall I am pretty happy with my life, and the more I lose weight, the better I start feeling about myself.

Day 16-Another Picture of Yourself

Day 15-Put your I-Pod on shuffle-what are the first 10 songs that play

1. Lupe Fiasco ft Trey Songz-Out of My Head
2. 50 Cent, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, P Diddy-In Da Club (Exclusive Remix Unlrealease by DJ Geezy)
3. N'Sync-I just wanna be with you
4. TLC-Sumthin Wicked This Way Comes
5. Boy II Men-In The Still of The Night
6. John Legend-Save Room
7. 50 Cent-Poor Lil Rich
8. Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn-Daddy's Hands
9. Ludacris-Ho
10. Tone Loc-Funky Cold Medina                       

Day 14-A picture of you and your family