Crazy Legs...

Like I have said before, I am originally from New Mexico, born and raised.  After college, I moved to Colorado where I lived for five years.  A few months before I moved to El Paso, my company bought out another credit union here and asked for volunteers to move.  El Paso is only an hour and a half from my mom who still lives in NM.  I am a true mommas girl, it was just her and I growing up, so we always fought like sisters and best friends, but we were really mother and daughter, sometimes that line was smudged and crossed a lot.  I wanted to be closer to my family.  Other than my job in CO, I didn't have anything holding me back there.  I had friends, whom I miss everyday and I also had just met this guy, we will call Webster (cause he looked like a tall version of Webster from TV).  He wasn't looking to rush into anything serious, in fact it took us three months from the time we met online to actually meet in person, which was quite frustrating.  So I didn't have anything holding me back. 

Initially I came out here to TX for a month to see if I liked it.  I didn't.  I hated it.  But I loved being closer to my mom.  Then, after the job offer, they sent me out here again for another six weeks (mind you, living in a hotel and eating fast food and out at restaurants each day) to find a place to live, get acquainted with the city and my staff, etc.  A few weeks before the six week trip, I decided what the heck, I am going to give dating in El Paso a shot, what do I have to lose.  I didn't know anyone so if anything, I would at least be able to meet some new people who can get me acquainted with the city.

Let me lay something out on the table first and foremost.  I date primarily ONLY black guys.  There are a few reasons for that, one being that black guys tend to like bigger girls, two being that I tend to be attracted to black guys, and three being I am not attracted to white guys, for the most part.  Now, when I say only black guys, no white guys, it's not always black and white only.  There is grey area there.  I have dated a few Spanish guys before, one of which was one of my longest relationships, which we remain friends to this day.  The other being a dude that we dated and knew we weren't right for each other, and we became best friends since I was 16/17 yrs old.  And there are also the mixed guys, my first serious boyfriend was half black half Mexican, I have dated half black half white, etc.  I have been on a few (maybe 2) first dates with white guys.  Never a second date.  EVER.  One was while I was in high school, sorry mom for just now telling you this, and I met him online.  He was in the air force, and he met me after I got off work and we went to the movies.  We walk up to get tickets and he goes "One ticket for blah blah blah movie"....I was thinking to myself, SERIOUSLY?!?! one ticket?  I was in high school, and yes I worked however that money went to gas, lunches, insurance etc.  I didn't have any money, especially because I was going on a date and expected he would pay. I pretended to have my cell phone ring, and acted like it was my mom that something had happened and I needed to go home immediately.  Never talked to him again.  The other was this guy I met in CO, on the Internet of course, and he seemed great.  We actually met, and he was such a jerk, very prejudice against "different people", meaning color, size, disability etc.  He was just such a jerk. 

So I created a profile on plentyoffish.com.  Its a free dating website and a lot of people are on it.  Within a few days, I already had a few people contacting me.  One of which was crazy legs.  I will get to why I call him crazy legs later.  Crazy legs was white, should have given me an idea right then and there.  But he was soooo nice.  We talked for the few weeks before I flew back down to El Paso, and honestly, he seemed "perfect".  No such thing I know now.  We had plans to meet up later in the evening after my mom picked me up from the airport and I got settled into my hotel and dinner and what not.  He kept blowing my phone up all night asking when a good time was going to be to meet.  It was strange, but whatever.  Because I was in town on business, I didn't have my car, and was having to share a company vehicle with two other people that were in town for business as well.  I didn't want to hog the car all night on my very first night in town, so I had asked him to come to my hotel to pick me up.  My mom didn't like the idea of me not knowing the guy and not having a vehicle to excape in, so she had asked me for his cell number just in case she needed to give it to the police later when I went missing.  I didn't think anything of it.  She had said that she would call me to check up on me because you really never know with these things how it could go. 

He pulled up, in a beat up Chevy Cavalier.  It was dirty and icky.  He didn't get out, I just opened the passenger side door and as all the trash fell out, I hoped in.  It was gross.  We drove just a few minutes down the street to Applebees to get a drink.  It was already around 8:30/9 at night and I had been flying all day and had to work the next day, so I wasn't looking for it to last to long.  In the car, he was sitting to the left of me and I was sitting to the right of him, and everything seemed pretty normal.  We get to Applebees and park, and I get out, trying not to trip over the trash as I got out.  We started walking to the door.  At first, I thought he had tripped over trash when he got out of his car, because he stumbled a bit as he was getting out and started walking, so I didn't think anything of it.  I continued to walk towards the door, and looked back to see where he was and he....wait for it....literally had crazy legs.  It's hard to explain.  He was walking like he should have been using a cane or crutches.  I had absolutely no idea that he had a disability.

Don't get me wrong, having a disability is not a bad thing.  Everyone has their faults, wether it be crazy legs or weight issues.  But for him to not even tell me about it, for him to just exclude that part hoping I wouldn't notice I think was completely wrong.  So we walk into Applesbees and go straight to the bar.  I could already tell the date wasn't going to go well, so when they asked what i wanted I ordered the small beer and he ordered the large.  Now at this point, he is not sitting to the right of me and I am sitting to the left of him.  He smiled.  OMG...he totally had meth teeth.  You have all seen the billboards of...this is what you could look like if you do meth...yeah he totally looked like that.  I was so grossed out.  I just wanted to get up and leave.  But I kept telling myself, he is a really nice guy, so what he has a disability, he is a really nice guy, give him a chance.  I know for someone like me to judge someone based on their looks is wrong because that is how I have been judged my whole life, however, I do still have standards.  In fact, not everyone in this world likes big girls, so I get discriminated against just by that alone.

It was very loud in the restaurant, I didn't hear my phone going off, it was in my purse.  I didn't even think to take it out to listen for it.  Well we finally left, after him trying several attempts at trying to kiss me with his meth teeth, which was NOT happening.  He takes me back to the hotel, and he is pulling up all slow and is like so should I park, and I was like no, you can drop me off at the front, I am tired I am going to bed.  He was crushed.  I get up to my room, heartbroken because the date and dude were such a bust.  I was disappointed, hoping that's not how the whole city of El Paso was going to be.  I took my phone out and saw that my mom had called several times.  I called her back, told her about the date, and she and I just laughed.  Next I get a phone call from crazy legs. 

Now, let me give you a little back story on my mom's cell phone.  It used to be my cell phone.  It's one of those prepaid phones, that you buy the minutes as you go, which works for my mom because one, she only turns it on if she is going out of town, and two, she never has it on.  So the phone, it still has my voicemail greeting on it...Hey this is Brittany leave me a message and I will get back to you. 

So crazy legs calls me and asks why and how I called him from a NM phone number (my cell phone has a CO area code).  I was like oh that was probably my mom.  He flipped out.  Why did you give your mom my number, I explained because I didn't know if he was going to be psycho.  That sent him on even more of a rage.  He hung up on me.  I called my mom and we laughed so hard.  He called back later on saying it was rude for my mom to have called, it was rude for me to have given her his cell phone number, it violated his privacy, etc.  I was like you gotta be joking me right.  He told me that if I apologized to him and begged for his forgiveness for giving his phone number out, that he would consider going out with me again.  You have got to be kidding me....there is no way in heck I ever wanted to go out with this dude again, and on top to apologize and beg for his forgiveness, ummm no.  After I told him I wasn't going to apologize to him, he goes well maybe we can give this another shot.  I said no, I really don't like all the negativity in my life, I am trying to start brand new and for him to react and act the way he was, I just didn't need all that negativity.  Then....he dropped the bomb.  He said and I quote "You do need some negativity, negative 100lbs."...I was like oh no he didn't...I went all Shaneqwa on him.  I told him, you know I wasn't going to bring it up, but because you want to get dirty like that, why don't you tell people the next time that you have a disability instead of just springing the whole crazy legs situation at them.  And you might want to go to the dentist and get your meth teeth checked out, black does not look good on white in your situation, and then I hung up.

A few days later he called and of course I didn't answer and left this hearfelt apology on my voicemail in which I just erased.  About a month later, I was online looking at the different personals ads of people in El Paso and came across his, and so I read it.  He had updated it to include the fact that he has MS (which I never knew of and would have been completely supportive of had I gotten a heads up), and that he has had several surgeries throughout his lifetime due to other problems which causes him to walk differently.  He also said that he had some problems when he was younger and now more mature to grow out of, but some of his body still shows, and I am guessing this is him referring to the fact that he had meth teeth.  But whatever.

So yeah, that's the story of crazy legs.  My friends and family still laugh about it to this day.  That was almost a year and a half ago.  I have had comparable stories to that, in fact one back in July that I call "banjo"...but that's a whole other post. 

Till next time....

2.4lbs Lighter

I weighed in last night and lost 2.4lbs.  YAY!!!!  I am now at 318.6lbs.  My next goal is 299, so I can finally be under the 300 mark! 

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and I am going out of town to Colorado to visit family.  I will be staying with my aunt is who your traditional old fashioned cook who puts BUTTER in everything!  I am prepared though, which I am happy to report.  I contacted a gym and asked how much it would cost to get a week membership while I was there and they said they would give it to me for $20.00, which isn't bad.  Plus, I was looking at their class schedules and they have water aerobics, my absolute favorite workout, three days while I am there.  So excited!  Plus I have already picked a weight watchers meeting location and time that will work for me while on vacation, so I am set for that too.  I have also decided that I am not going to limit myself on any of the great food on Thanksgiving, but rather limit the portions.  Fill up on all the veggies, and keep it to small portions of the candied yams, green been casserole, mashed potatoes, etc.  There is also this farmers market that opened by my old apartment in Colorado, so I already told my mom that when we get into town, before we do anything, we are stopping there so I can pick up my essentials for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so that whatever is cooked, I can still eat, just in smaller portions and be able to still stay on plan! 

Some of my favorite things to eat normally are yogurt and a peice of fruit for breakfast along with a cup of orange juice to get my blood sugar up, I also like the strawberry cream cheese toaster strudel or a bowl of cheerios with two packets of stevia.  If I eat the toaster strudel, it's 5 points for each one, so I eat 2 and that's 10 points, not to bad.  For lunch, I like to stick to the Progresso Light Soups or a Smart One meal with an extra something like a peice of cheese or a side salad, or even a peice of fruit or some chopped veggies.  For dinner, I can pretty much go with just about anything, this is when I try to save most of my points for because I know I am going to be hungry after work and the gym.  Because I don't get out of the gym until late.  I keep frozen been and cheese burritos constantly on hand in my freezer, 4 points each, with salsa which is free.  Sometimes, especially on Mondays, I will go to McDonalds, and before I would get the whole meal, but now I just get a 10 peice chicken nugget (14pts) and 2 bbq sauces, (1pt each) and an unsweetened iced tea.  Twice last week I did the canned goods clean out of my pantry, I had beets, green beans with A1 sauce, yum, carrots, some soup etc.  It's pretty good if prepared properly lol. 

Well I am off to go to lunch, to enjoy the pot luck...lol.  Wish me luck to keep my mouth shut. 

Until next time...

Work and Pot Lucks...it's that time of the year!

***Names have been changed to protect my job***

Ok…. so I am a bit frustrated….with me being on Weight Watchers, by no means do I expect everyone or anyone for that matter around me to participate or even not eat what they would normally eat.  In fact I encourage them to eat normally due to the fact that I can see what it looks like or even possibly take a small bite to fill my craving.  But, I came in to work yesterday at 10:45am which is later than normal and walk in and employee #1 bombards me at the teller line asking if I wanted to participate in the potluck they are having on Thursday.  Boss #1 was standing right there, and said we haven’t had a pot luck in a while and so to celebrate having Friday off for Veterans day, we were going to have a pot luck on Thursday.  I asked what we were having and she said salads, cold salads.  I said sure, why not, already thinking of what kind of salad I could bring.  Employee #1 goes well good your in charge of bringing the chips and sprite.  I was like oh I would prefer to bring a salad, because I don’t eat chips or drink sprite.  She goes well everyone already signed up for all the salads, and I was like well what is everyone bringing, here is the list she gives me:

·        Spinach Dip                                      Boss #1

·        Chips and Sprite                               Brittany

·        Fruit Salad                                        Employee #2

·        Caesar Salad                                     Employee #3

·        Avocado Salad                                  Employee #4    

·        Toss Salad                                         Employee #5

·        Pasta Salad                                       Boss #2

·        Chicken Salad                                   Employee #1

·        Potato Salad                                      Security Guard

·        Tostadas and wheat bread               Employee #6

I LOVE Employee #5's tossed salad or because these effers can’t speak proper English, toss salad…so I thought if anything I can have some of her salad, because nothing else on the list is healthy or anything I would be able to eat, and then I could eat the fruit salad too.  Ok…good I have a meal, so I am like fine, whatever, I will bring the chips and sprite. 

So this morning in our daily huddle, they went over what everyone was bringing etc, and just reminding everyone to bring their stuff tomorrow.  I asked why employee #6 needed to bring wheat bread if we were having salads, and she agreed not understanding why she needed to bring bread but I guess with employee #1's chicken salad, to make a sandwich, again not something I can eat.  So Boss #1 suggested she bring dessert.  Employee #2 chimed in saying well I am bringing fruit salad because everyone here is on a diet, (we have three pregnant girls and three girls on diets).  We have 11 employees, one male.  So four girls out of the 10 aren’t watching what they eat.  So a majority of the girls are watching what they eat.  

Employee #2 then proceeded to tell us what she was putting in the fruit salad, cool whip, coconut, marshmallows, pecans, canned fruit etc.  I chimed in asking if she had bought the stuff for it yet and she said no, and I asked, out of all those ingredients she is using, if she could please buy fat free cool whip.  She looked at me and goes well I am making this for everyone not just you, Employee #5 chimed in saying yeah, this is for everyone and plus she needs to buy whatever is cheaper and then Employee #1 says yeah don’t be picky, this is for everyone. 

I was sooooo mad.  Why am I buying Sprite….because they mentioned yesterday that the girls who are pregnant can’t drink anything with caffeine, there are only three pregnant girls out of 11 employees, why do I have to cater to them when they can’t help me out by buying fat free cool whip?  I didn't even go to the degree to ask for no coconut or sugar free canned fruit, or even fresh fruit.  So I have to buy Sprite to cater to them but they seriously can’t buy fat free cool whip? Seriously?!?!  I almost feel like saying forget it I am not going to participate, but then I don’t want to look like the jerk because two wrongs don’t make a right.  So I think I am deciding to buy Diet Sprite, or possibly even Diet Cranberry Sierra Mist, which is one of my favorites.  And some of the new fat free chips, or even the baked chips, whichever is lower in points, just to prove a point. 

The thing that also gets me, is every single one of these girls has said at one time or another that they are dieting or doing something to lose weight, and at those times, we have accommodated things for them.  And trust me, there is only ONE skinny girl here that could stand to eat a couple cheeseburgers and not diet or not have fat free cool whip.  Even the sugar free cool whip is better, it just has splenda instead of sugar...tastes just the same.  I mean seriously, it's not even the issue of the cool whip, it's the issue of me having to conform for them and them not even willing to go an extra step for me. 

But whatever, I am still mad, even two hours after the incident I think because I sit here and write this blog, it makes me more mad thinking about it.

Last week at weigh in, I gained.  1.2lbs!!!  I honestly expected it.  The week prior was not a good week for me eating wise.  Actually it was primarily the weekend that was bad, but still with everything I ate I am surprised I didn't gain more.  On Friday I had pepperoni stuffed crust pizza (two slices), and three cocktails with gin and seltzer water and sweet and sour.  Saturday morning I had left over pizza (1 1/2 slices) and some pomegranate juice.  For lunch I had a hamburger, no cheese, from the Hi-D-Ho in Alamogordo.  For anybody that knows what that is, knows those are some ginormous burgers.  Then I went to the lodge in Cloudcroft, NM and had half a bottle of champagne, for dinner had a salad with ranch, rack of lamb, twice baked potatoes, and asparagus.  I also, even though I know I shouldn't have, ordered a piece of tiramisu cheesecake.  The next morning at breakfast at the Lodge, I had whole wheat pancakes with sugar free syrup, and like 8 cups of coffee with splenda and creamer. 

I did horribly, so when I weighed in I wasn't surprised.  It was my first gain since joining, which I guess is good, but not something I wanted to happen.  My ex-boyfriend that i have told you all about, Carson, was the one I spent that weekend with in Cloudcroft.  It was by no means his fault that I ate horribly, I chose it.  In fact, he very much supports my weight loss efforts.  But it was a special weekend, 1.  we have never, ever, spent the whole weekend together, and 2. it was his birthday.  We started talking again and decided to work things out.  We talked about moving in, getting married, etc.  I think at that time, we were a long way away from it, however it was a good outlook for our future.  Since then, as I am sure you can guess, we have broken up again lol. 

I just need to move on from him, and unfortunately with us still communicating and keeping in contact, it's hard to do so.  He has been out in the field, and so he was scheduled to come home last Friday, and texted me the night before asking if he could have some "me time" on Friday.  I was like you seriously need "me time"? What would happen if I was living with you?  Would you kick me out for the day cause you need "me time"?  Plus after us decided to get back together, I had asked him several times and told him several times to delete his personals profile, because it really bothered me.  With him not doing it, it made me think is he talking to other people, and then every time he logged in or every day he kept it open it was like he was saying a big I don't care about you to my feelings after telling him over and over how it bothered me.  Ayyy Yiii Yiii...

Today I am going to my weight watchers meeting, I think I did pretty well this week so hopefully I lost.  Afterwards, I found a deal on Groupon for 10 one hour kickboxing classes for $25.00 and my friend Chante from weight watchers and I bought them so we are going to get signed up for them and then go back to her house to make some turkey burgers !!!  Before we go to her house we are going to stop at the store so I can buy my chips and Sprite for tomorrow's pot luck, which by the way, they just sent another flipping email reminder out about....UGHHH!!!! 

Well tomorrow I will post another blog letting you know how I did this week along with some other news I have in regards to Thanksgiving! 

Until next time....