Dear Ex,
I don't know how to begin to tell you how disappointed I am in you and our relationship. I loved you more than anything in this world. I loved you with my whole heart and soul. For someone who hasn't had a lot of that in his life, I can't imagine how you wouldn't want to soak all that love up like a sponge.
I think a lot of our problems were associated with us being to used to being on our own. Me, I loved my space, but I yearned to have that connection with you, that bond, that never-ending love that you get when you are truly fall for someone. For you, you were so used to being on your own, that when I tried to invade your "space", it was like a personal attack against you and a constant struggle between us. All I wanted was you, time with you!
I hate how you have hurt me, I hate that I have allowed you in so far into my heart, that you were able to rip and tear it apart. I hate that every weekend, you were blowing me off, arguing with me, etc and I was at home, alone, crying because I was in so much pain. And you never could understand that you hurt me. That my reactions were based on how you hurt me. It's like a fight or flight situation, yes I do have an attitude, but only because I was provoked by either your words or actions.
I hate that you know that something is bothering me or is making me mad, but still either don't do anything to change it, act like it doesn't exist or is "not that big of a deal". I don't trust you. Plain and simple. Why you might ask? Because, like I have told you, YOU CAN NOT PLAY A PLAYER!!!! I know all your tricks, maneuvers, etc. I feel if you aren't with me, it's someone else. I know you talk to girls on the internet, and say the SAME exact things to them, that you said to me. How do I know this? Because I am NOT stupid like you might think I am. Yes, I have created fake dating profiles. Yes, I have used my co-workers' phones to text you from. And yes, you have already previously made plans with me, but set up dates with these "fake" girls, and cancelled on me and also have started fights with me so I didn't come around, and of course, the fights were always my fault.
That's what I hate the most, is that everything, every argument, fight, disagreement, no contact etc, is ALWAYS my fault! It may have started out with you hurting me, you doing something, but because of the way I react to the situation, by either going off on you or straight up ignoring you, I am in the wrong. It's MY attitude that caused the problem. Can you not take at least partial blame for the situation? I am not saying I am perfect, but guess what, neither are you! You may be so into yourself that you think you are, but honey let me tell you, there are taller, more attractive, more funny, more sympathetic men out there. Bottom line, there is someone out there that is better than you.
Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, but I am not happy with how things were. I do not feel like you gave me what I needed or cared enough to know or learn what I needed. If you ever care to learn or know, let me know. Until then, no we can't be friends!
~Brittany~
Here is some lyrics from a song that has really helped me through this:
Someone Like You
by Adele
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over.
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Nothing compares, no worries or cares.
Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
No comments:
Post a Comment